Am I ready? Can I do this? Do I have Time? What if nobody likes what I say? How can I compete? These are just some of the questions reeling through my head as I re start my blog. As well as how do I stay motivated? How do I get inspired? Does it even matter? Well…hell yes, it matters. To me and hopefully to you. All these what if’s and how and why questions just have to go and get replaced with “shut up and do”! Getting started again and having these unsure feelings if I should bother. It’s been a while. But what do I have to lose?
It’s been about a year and a half since my last post. It was all about being in limbo. And here I am… still in limbo. Although not quite as bad. It was during Covid. Not knowing what the future was going to bring. Guess what?! Didn’t change my environment one bit. Still work at the same restaurant; live in the same house. I did. however. purchase a new used car. It was great to not have a car payment for a while But I needed to bite the bullet. My Mountaineer has seen its days over 200,000 miles and poor girl has taken a beating. Still sits in my driveway for a backup car, ya know, just in case. Truthfully, I have a lot of love for the old beast and can’t part with it. Served me well and can’t bring myself to scrap a part of me that has been loyal to me for 8 years. Can’t get that kind of loyalty these days. Why I go on about my old ride, well, it’s change. Not scared of change but it can be unnerving; even the smallest.
I have grown in the past 18 months. I have cut way back on my social life that wasn’t doing me much good. Actually, I am more particular on who I spend my time with and what I do. Having the FOMO at my age gets really old, really quick. It’s tiresome and I cannot handle the drama coming from the same cast of characters. So cut that wayyyyyy down. Being overly social added undue extra stress. So, I am enjoying relaxing at home, not always doing a chore or task, but relaxing. Just because I am home doesn’t mean I have to clean or cook or something. I’ve learned to allow myself to just sit and do what I want without the guilt of not accomplishing something. Sitting and reading a lot about self-help, finances and practicing self-reflection has helped me get on track and rank my priorities. I’ll share what I’ve read and followed in an upcoming post.
And I have debated whether to try this blog again. I get inspired by listening to a radio show or podcast or the news and think I want to write about it. But then I get lazy: get the “who wants to listen to me”?! “I’m a crappy writer”…..blah blah. But who cares?! Who says I have to be great or even good? Eventually yes, but right away…I’m going to suck! But I have to try. If I fail, I can try again. Really have nothing to lose by taking a chance in sharing my thoughts and opinions…however flawed you think they may be.
My point is that I have to get out of my own way. Nobody is stopping me but me. And it’s funny, because I am a mostly confident person so why the hesitancy to do this or anything that would be good for me? Why do we self-sabotage before we really get started? Fear of failure…maybe. Waste my time…could be that. Or it could be pure laziness. I’m thinking mine comes from my “you’re not good enough” mentality that I still struggle with. Or a mixture of all of those reasons. What’s your reason to not get going on something you want to do? Same as mine or something else? Welp, let’s get going!!!
